When a client cancels my default thinking (up until recently) has been:
- What is wrong with me that they are canceling?
- Don’t they like what I have to offer them?
- Do they really mean that they are busy right now or that they do not value that much our interaction?
This line of thinking victimizes me and slows me down, depleting my motivation and energy to take action with confidence. This thinking does the same energy depletion to you.
I bet I am not alone. When your expectations are let down and your preparation turns out to be for naught due to a last minute cancellation or you are asked to think about participating in something and then it does not happen, or a date breaks your plans, how do you take it? The default thinking approach I described above is negative and stalls us in our tracks.
What we do when bad things happen:
- We hibernate
- We stress eat
- We yell and reveal our suboptimal selves
- We worry
- We do not ask for support/help
- We obsess with our own story of what it all means
The best approach to overcome this feeling of being taken over by bad things is to remember to choose to take a positive stance. This is not about “me”. The cancellation is really about the other person (s) and their respective situations and chaos in life.
Ways to recover to your best self when bad things happen:
- Take a deep breath, meditate, and be mindful.
- Take a walk in nature.
- Do 20 jumping jacks to pump the blood.
- Reach out to a friend and chat or meet up for coffee and get grounded with connecting to another person.
- Focus on what I have that is moving in the right direction.
- Imagine the wisdom to learn from the experience.
- Forgive yourself and others and the “thing that happened”
I am so grateful for what is happening in my present life that I choose no longer to let a cancellation bother me. Rather, I focus on how lucky I am to gain some extra time to read up on something I have been putting off, work on a presentation coming up or another project I am executing, write in my journal or get a piece ready for my next newsletter.
Paradoxically, when you choose to be grateful for what you do have rather than what went wrong you are thankful for all that is good in your life and stay positive. With positivity you maintain energy, motivation and passion. This ignites others to be with you and continue to reinforce you.
This holiday season when:
· Someone says the wrong thing to you (from your perspective)
· The holiday party turns out to be a bore
· The present you receive is not what you were hoping for
· Your appointments get canceled because others are equally stressed and overwhelmed at this time of year
Choose to say no to negativity and sadness
Choose to Say Yes to how grateful you are that you have more time or can now contemplate what makes a good meeting, party or presentation. No one is perfect and if you want to focus on what is wrong with your life, it will stay that way. Only positivity brings more positivity. Be patient and trust that when you least expect it something magnificent will unfold for you. But, not when you focus on the negative choices.
Contact me to make 2018 the most positive year. It is time to move on from being pulled into the victim mode. You are in the driver’s seat.